Full Spectrum Wellness Podcast

Let’s Start A Kindness Revolution | Episode 10

November 13, 2022 Episode 10
Full Spectrum Wellness Podcast
Let’s Start A Kindness Revolution | Episode 10
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode Joanne discusses the topic of kindness and shares simple but powerful ways to be kind to yourself and others, to improve your well-being and theirs.

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*This podcast does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment and its contents are intended for informational purposes only.

Welcome to Episode Ten of our Full Spectrum Wellness Podcast. I'm so happy and excited to be back here with you for our tenth episode.

Today, Sunday the 13th of November is World Kindness Day. In today’s world, negativity often seems to take center stage. Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the negative and to allow the toxic events we see around us and in the news consume us. I’ve found that one of the easiest and most effective ways to combat all the bad is to focus on good - specifically on kindness. 

The concept of kindness goes beyond just being nice. It includes being generous and considerate. Giving of yourself in some way is a part of being kind. It involves some sacrifice, no matter how small. It doesn’t require reciprocation and doesn’t expect anything in return.

We’ve all likely heard the platitude that kindness is contagious. However, these old sayings tend to be built in truth. Kindness tends to have a ripple effect. When you give generously of yourself to another, you brighten their day. You may even inspire hope in their world. This can lead them to be in a better frame of mind in order to then do something kind for someone in their life. You never know how far-reaching one act can be. 

We’re often disconnected in this fast-paced modern world. You never know what someone else is going through. We all have our battles to wage and being kind to someone else might just be the thing that helps them keep pushing forward during a tough time. Plus, when you’re giving toward others, these genuine acts often strengthen bonds. 

Showing grace toward others sets a good example for those around you. There’s always someone watching. This is especially true if you’re a parent. Let your children see you giving back. This will help to increase that ripple effect I already mentioned and teach a valuable lesson. 

Doing good for others with no expectations in return simply feels good. Kind acts can improve your mood. It’s been shown that helping people actually lights up the pleasure centers of the brain and releases endorphins, feel-good chemicals. In fact, this phenomenon has a name, “helper’s high.” 

Being kind offers so many benefits. In a world where genuine connection seems to be lacking and everyone is in such a hurry, kindness may be the cure to bring people together. 

If you look it up in a dictionary or online, you’ll find there are countless definitions of kindness. What seems to be a common thread between them is that they go beyond simply being nice. They involve being caring, generous, helpful, considerate or respectful, among other qualities. This characteristic of being kind can also be considered a skill. Sometimes, it doesn’t come naturally. You can become more aware and proactive in the amount of grace you grant others. It just takes practice.

Being good to someone else reminds us that we’re not alone. There’s a bigger world beyond us and our immediate circle. When you extend a gesture of good will, you’re putting something positive out into the world. Strengthening bonds and improving someone else’s situation in even a small way. Kindness inspires hope, which often goes on to create even more benevolence and decency. The entire concept of kindness centers on our humanity. It’s part of what makes us innately good. 

Creating a practice of kindness requires intention. You must commit to doing at least one purposeful kind thing each day in order for it to become a habit. But don’t worry; this doesn’t have to be difficult. Once you begin making graciousness a habit, you’ll start to feel that “helper’s high” which will spur you on to want to continue making this practice a part of your life. Once you begin to share acts of kindness on a regular basis, you’ll become conditioned to do so. Start with small things like smiling at strangers you meet or giving close friends and family a hug. Check in on a pal who has been struggling lately. Allow someone to check out ahead of you at the grocery store. Offer to help someone bear some of the burden of their heavy workload. Give a generous tip for exceptional service. Donate to a favourite charity in someone else’s name. 

Being kind doesn’t have to cost a lot of money or time. You can find little ways to engage in this practice every day. The key is to get started and keep going. The returns on your investment will likely be great.

Being generous with loved ones and the people in our lives can truly do a lot for our own mindset. It can also benefit our health, as I talked about in yesterday’s blog post. Expressing gentleness and good will toward yourself can be more difficult than sharing these gifts with those around you. We often neglect to do positive things for ourselves or take care of our physical and emotional well-being. However, it’s important to remember how doing so can improve your life.

Self-kindness is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. We’re so often taught that it’s selfish to focus on our own needs. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Caring for ourselves is necessary if we want to have enough energy left to give to anyone else. Self-kindness goes beyond self-care. It involves forgiving yourself and being generous with yourself. Being kind to yourself is made up of all the same types of acts you would show to someone else. It really is beneficial to stop and think, “Would I treat someone else this way?” If the answer is no, then remind yourself that you deserve similar kindness. 

Being kind to yourself matters for so many reasons. When you neglect your own needs and treat yourself with harsh judgment, you’re creating emotions inside yourself that are very similar to those that would manifest in someone else you were to treat poorly. Just as a neglected or ridiculed child would build a sense of poor self-worth, resentment, and anger, so do you when you don’t show yourself generosity. You begin to wear yourself down. 

Instead, self-kindness renews your soul and your overall well-being. Learning to be more compassionate with yourself leads to feeling better in so many aspects. It can lessen depression and anxiety. It teaches you what you need to feel confident and provides you with the necessary coping skills and resilience to handle life’s obstacles more successfully. Having mercy on yourself gives you the energy and ability to be there for others without feelings of resentment and overwhelm. When you’re more charitable with yourself, it lets you be more successful in meeting your goals because you feel encouraged to try, rather than defeated or critical. The messages we give ourselves really do matter. 

As you can see, being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others. It may even be more critical because doing so gives you the strength you need in order to freely care for others. Depleting your own spirit isn’t beneficial for anyone. 

Being kind to yourself can be hard. It’s not something many of us grow up learning to do. We’re often so busy looking out for others that we forget our own needs. However, as you now know, self-kindness matters, and it’s worth the investment. 

One of the most impactful and fun ways to spread kindness is to do so with random acts. You’ve probably heard of random acts of kindness. This is when you do something unexpectedly for someone else simply to make their day or to ease their burden in some way.

It’s believed that the term began with a menu quote by Anne Herbert that read, “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.” Random acts of kindness, sometimes seen as RAKs, have become a movement in recent years. No action is too big or too small. In fact, some of the most meaningful examples tend to come in the form of simple gestures. You don’t have to spend a lot of money or make an elaborate plan. The one requirement is that the act be unexpected with nothing desired in return. 

One of the absolute easiest, yet most wonderful, things you can do to show kindness to others is to give them a smile. As long as it’s genuine, a grin can provide a number of positive results. You can truly make a difference in someone’s day or change the course of events for the better.

If you see someone looking stressed or a sad, flash them a smile. This one small gesture conveys quite a lot. It shows that someone cares and is interested - even a stranger. You never know what someone else is going through. This may be just what they needed to get through their day. In addition, it activates the portion of the recipient’s brain that processes sensory rewards, providing them with a sense of contentment. 

Smiling really is contagious. An unconscious automatic response in the brain is responsible for this phenomenon. When you smile at someone, they can’t help but smile back. That smile can then cause positive feelings to flow within the person. The act of smiling itself also stimulates a neurochemical response that causes people to feel happy. It’s true. When a person smiles, neurotransmitters that make people feel good are released. These include serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. 

These brain activities generated by smiling work together between participants in a way that strengthens attachment. These actions combine to create a symbiotic effect, meaning one that works together or is interdependent. The actions rely on each other. Both you and the recipient benefit from the process of smiling, the release of feel-good neurochemicals, the activation of the brain’s reward center, and the resulting feelings of warmth and contentment. All of this leads to strengthened bonds between people, even for a brief moment between strangers. 

When you smile at someone, you’re letting them know you have good intent. You send positivity in their direction. As noted above, this can lead them to smile. When they do, they benefit in multiple ways, as we’ve already discovered. What you may not realize about smiling, though, is how it can keep that positive mood going. Even after you’ve walked away from the recipient, they may maintain their smile and all the good feelings that come along with it. 

See? Smiling really does make a difference. It seems like such a small thing, but it matters. Go out there and share the smiles. You’ll see how good it makes you feel, too. 

How often do you stop to acknowledge your gratitude throughout the day? I bet it’s something you don’t do very often. It’s easy to take the good things for granted. Sometimes we forget just how fortunate we are to simply have the basics we need to survive. Other times, we neglect to be thankful for our friends and family. Acknowledging gratitude on a regular basis can be a powerful display of kindness.

Gratitude is all about being thankful and expressing that appreciation to others. Some think it’s an emotion or feeling, while others believe the concept is actually a practice or skill you can improve upon. I think both are correct. You can feel grateful for your blessings. It’s also possible to practice gratitude by doing things to remind yourself just how fortunate you truly are. You can also express your thankfulness to someone else. This is a powerful way to spread kindness. 

If you begin a practice of gratitude, I can almost guarantee you’ll reap some benefits. Taking time each day to acknowledge your blessings lifts your spirits. It helps to get past the negativity bias we all have. Instead of feeling down about what’s going wrong in your life, you’ll gain a new perspective and a more realistic picture. Showing thankfulness for others and to others multiplies the benefits gained. It spreads joy, builds bonds, and strengthens relationships. Showing that you’re grateful to another encourages that same behaviour. The recipient of your appreciation may go on to show more gratitude to someone in their own life. Gratitude has even been shown to be good for your physical and mental health.

Starting a simple gratitude journal is a great way to get in the habit of acknowledging what you’re grateful for. You can write in an actual paper journal of your choosing or use an electronic method. It doesn’t matter, as long as you take some time each day to write down three to five things for which you’re grateful. The repetitive nature of this exercise is where its power lies. You’ll reap more benefits by engaging in the practice regularly. You can also offer a simple word of thanks the next time someone does something nice for you. Taking a bit more time to tell a loved one why they’re special to you is an incredibly beautiful way to show them they matter. If saying the words out loud is intimidating, send them a card or letter instead. 

As I’ve mentioned before, kindness can easily take a backseat in a world that’s so busy and hectic. Sometimes we all get caught up in our own lives, attending to what seems to be most important. One of the ways we can forget to be kind to others is through a lack of attention. This happens a lot in conversation. We’re often thinking ahead to what our response will be or letting a multitude of other concerns interrupt our thoughts. One way to truly be kind is to listen attentively to your friends and loved ones. It shows you care and that you value them.

Listening is just one way your actions can be kind on a day to day basis. Another is to forgive. We often hold grudges against others who’ve hurt or offended us in the past. Sometimes, it’s kind to both them and ourselves to let that resentment go. It can be quite freeing.

Today, I’d like to share with you just a few simple ways to be kind to yourself. These might help you to start a practice of showing yourself grace.

1. Invest in Yourself

The first thing I’d recommend is to invest in yourself. This can be an investment of various types of resources. You may think of money when you hear the term “investing,” but you don’t have to spend a dime in order to value yourself. Time is a resource many of us don’t give ourselves. Schedule a few hours in your calendar each week to do something special just for you. You could also invest energy and effort into yourself by doing something like taking a few extra minutes each morning to mediate or spending extra time to do your makeup. Whatever makes you feel good. If you have money to spend, consider splurging on yourself in some way. Buy yourself that beautiful outfit you’ve wanted or give yourself permission to join the gym. 

2. Compliment Yourself

We’re not always very nice to ourselves. It’s often easier to see the negative things about us than to revel in the positive. Making an effort to change that is an important step toward self-kindness. When you catch yourself silently saying something mean about yourself, stop and re-frame that message. Turn it around in a way that is more positive, or at least gentler and kinder. Ask yourself if you’d ever say those words to a friend, then commit to not repeating them to yourself. Another good way to show yourself some grace is to make a list of your positive qualities. This simple exercise can be quite powerful. 

3. Take One Small Step

Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. During these times, we tend to practice poor habits and think negative thoughts. It can be difficult to get past such a pattern. One of the easiest ways to move forward is to just do one small thing toward improving your situation. Research the available classes at the community center and choose some options you might enjoy that fit your budget and schedule. Consider your health goals and write down some small changes you can make to move you toward them. Investing in your self-improvement is motivational and empowering. 

These are just three easy ways you can be kind to yourself. They can provide you the jumpstart you need to get going on this journey. You’ll soon see the difference that showering yourself with positivity can have on your mindset and your mood. 

Being kind to others can become a habit that becomes part of your daily routine. It just takes some practice. Here are three simple ways to be kind to others. 

1. Think Small for Big Impact

First, I’d like you to think of small things you can do that will make a big difference in the lives of others. When you’re beginning a new habit, it’s best to take the easiest route until these actions become more ingrained into your life. A simple smile to someone who seems frazzled is probably one of the easiest, yet most impactful, things you can offer. There are lots of other tiny gestures that mean a lot. Offer to let the person behind you in line at the grocery store go first if you only have a few items. Praise someone for a job well done. Invite someone to lunch or coffee if you know they’ve been going through a rough time. These types of actions don’t take much effort, and they truly do speak louder than words. 

2. Give Your Unique Gifts

Part of being kind to yourself is knowing what makes you special. There are some things only you can give. Consider the ways you can make a unique difference in someone else’s life, and then take action to make that happen. If you have a special talent like playing an instrument or cooking, find ways to share that gift with others. Volunteer to play your instrument at the local nursing home or to head up the bake sale committee at your child’s school. If you are a particularly good listener, offer to be a sounding board for a friend in need. There are so many ways you can use your particular skills for kindness. 

3. Go Out of Your Way

Some of us have more limited resources than others. I absolutely understand that. However, if you’re able, it’s great to go out of your way and give big sometimes. If you can afford to give financially, do so. You could make a large donation to a charity or you could help an individual or family you know personally who is struggling. Perhaps you can afford to be generous with other resources. Take some time to gather all the stuff you’re not using and have a rummage sale. Then donate the proceeds to a community organization in need. Bring groceries to someone you know who lacks transportation. People always appreciate it when someone goes out of their way for them. 

These are just three ways to be kind to others, with some examples in each category. There are countless other things you can do. Make a list and start looking for opportunities to put it into action. 

While it’s great to offer assistance and provide kindness in any ways we can, sometimes our help may not always be what the recipient most needs. It can even be unwanted in some instances. Receiving assistance can be a sensitive subject. You don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or overstep your bounds.

Asking, “How can I help you?” can demonstrate sincerity and that you truly want to do what is in the best interest of the recipient. When you ask for input, you’re showing that you are willing to listen and to do what the person most wants; you’re not simply helping in order to feed your own ego, out of obligation, or for some ulterior motive. The question puts their needs and desires front and center. 

Asking for help is hard. There’s a stigma in our society when it comes to being vulnerable. When you ask someone how you can help them, it’s you who is taking the first step. The recipient doesn’t have to carry the emotional burden of approaching someone for assistance. When they feel confident in your sincerity and your willingness to help, the pressure will be taken off them. 

If you truly want to know what someone needs, the direct approach is usually best. When you ask, you’ll know what the person really wants. Guessing can lead to an awkward moment for you both. In addition, there’s really no point in putting forth the time, effort, and other resources to help in a way that may not be needed nor appreciated. Your kindness will be more efficient and useful when you ask, “How can I help?”

Asking how you can help someone is such a wonderful gesture for all the reasons above. Genuine kindness is almost always appreciated but asking this one simple question goes above and beyond. It demonstrates respect and sincerity, which will ensure you’re remembered for a long time to come. Asking this question can often be the beginning of a strong relationship. 

An incredibly powerful question to ask yourself as you pursue this journey toward becoming a kinder person is, “Who can I help today?” You may be surprised to discover the wide array of opportunities that present themselves to you simply by considering this one question. By seeking out one person to serve each day, you’re looking outside of yourself with purpose and intention. You can almost always find at least one person to extend kindness to when you take proactive steps in this way.

Kindness is the glue that keeps the world together. Remember to be kind to YOU today too. When you’re happy you will infuse kindness into every conversation, gesture and encounter that you have! That kind of magic spreads like wildfire!! Let’s start a kindness revolution and see what can happen… ​​​​​​​​